


things you said through your teeth

by Zee



Series: things you said (fic based on tumblr prompts) [7]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Confessions, First Time, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee/pseuds/Zee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan isn’t ready for this. It’s possible that he’ll never be ready for this, never be ready for Adam to tell him one way or another what it’s going to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things you said through your teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Tumblr prompt, "things you said through your teeth."

Ronan isn’t ready for this. It’s possible that he’ll never be ready for this, never be ready for Adam to tell him one way or another what it’s going to be. Ronan hadn’t exactly been trying to hide his feelings, hadn’t been able to resist making gestures here and there, but it’s one thing to make a gesture and another thing to have Adam standing in front of him, arms crossed over his chest, staring at Ronan and saying they needed to ‘talk.’

“The rent,” Adam is saying. “The lotion. The mix tape. You keep giving me things, and what, I’m just not supposed to ask why?”

“What, you’d prefer it if I just straight-out gave you cash? Here you go doll, go buy yourself something pretty.” Ronan digs a twenty out of his wallet and flings it at Adam’s chest, sneering. He won’t lie, but he can avoid the question.

Adam doesn’t rise to the bait. “Stop it. I’m not your charity case. You know that.”

They’re in Monmouth Manufacturing, facing off over Gansey’s model of Henrietta. Gansey is out, researching something at the library, and Ronan suspects that Adam knew that when he came, that he was trying to get Ronan alone. Which makes Ronan nervous, not that he’d ever admit it. 

“Why do you accept it, then?” Ronan says, because it’s something he’s been wondering. It takes so much to get Adam to accept any little thing; Ronan still can’t quite believe that he was all right with Ronan and Gansey testifying at the trial. 

“Because…” Here Adam hesitates, narrowing his eyes. “Because I don’t know what your angle is, but I don’t think you feel sorry for me.”

Ronan has no reply to that. He shrugs and looks away, his heart beating rabbit-fast in his chest. He’s beginning to feel cornered like some prey animal, and it’s not a feeling he reacts well to.

“So I’ll ask again,” Adam says, and takes a step closer. Ronan fights the urge to back away. “Why?”

“Because I fucking feel like it,” Ronan says through gritted teeth. It’s not a lie, but it’s far from the whole truth. Because he’s an idiot in love. Because Adam is stupidly perfect. Because he doesn’t want Adam to forget him, ever.

“That’s not an answer!” Adam’s hands are at his sides now, balled into fists as if he’s ready to fight, and if this were a right then Ronan would feel so much less terrified. As it is, he’s shaking. 

And he can’t bring himself to confess his crush in words. “You want an answer? Fine,” he hears himself say, as if from far off. And then some outside force is taking control of his body, and he watches as he steps over the Henrietta model to get in Adam’s face, watches as he grabs Adam by the shoulders and kisses him.

It’s an ugly kiss, their mouths mashed together unpleasantly. Its sole purpose is to communicate what Ronan can’t say with words. Ronan pulls back almost immediately, staring into Adam’s shocked face and waiting with his breath held.

He doesn’t have to wait long. Adam reaches up to brush his thumb over his lips, the look on his face drawn inward like he’s making a decision. Then he looks up at Ronan and says, “Do that again.”

So Ronan does. It’s better the second time, and Ronan feels the trapped feeling inside his chest transform into something hopeful when Adam kisses back. 

“Were you ever going to say anything?” Adam says when they stop, both of them panting.

Ronan feels his cheeks go hot. He shakes his head, too worked up to speak. It seems miraculous to him that Adam is here, in his arms, not protesting when Ronan kisses him. He can’t wrap his mind around the facts of him. 

“Stupid,” Adam says, but Ronan feels his hand come up to curl against the back of Ronan’s skull, his fingers moving pleasantly over the short hairs there. Adam pulls him in again, his mouth hot and insistent against Ronan’s own, and Ronan surrenders more readily than he ever has to anything else.


End file.
